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Curses

by Naevus

/
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1.
How is your determination doing? I didn’t see the things you were selling You ran through, head down And spiralled into your body Between the white and red blood cells How has that been? Are they concrete yet? Did any opportunity resolve itself beyond debt? And no, I cannot spare anything Or, truth be told, I could, but won’t But what is spare anyway? Everything ultimately loses itself Into the same old chain As everything else And I would like to pit my fragile conscience Against my fragile sense of determination And if death is not the end then it's a waste of time Dependent upon how we each respectively choose To view it
2.
He lacked the way Pre-emptive grave Found use for things That we could never say He harboured grief Had neither branch nor leaf Was eaten up by animals And there he found relief He stuttered hard Collapsed into your car Partly in the footwell Partly out the door, ajar He then stayed silent Reputed to be violent Scraped, ignored and so on Face resting on the pavement Car keys, passenger seat Dead man circling Handbrake, indicate Dead man circling He represented haste And misused waste And all the other fleeting things That people failed to taste He was always vaguely flailing And very quietly railing Against the things that are left behind By us, the never failing He comes up short Always lacking retort Then slumps again into the stance That we would never court He’s found always sideways And sinking beneath most days A mess of rags and fallen flags Well beneath your gaze Safety lock, check the clock Dead man circling Seat belt, tremor felt Dead man circling He has a shave And crawls out from his grave And sits up straight in the driver’s seat So easily saved You turn your back And do not once look back And soon enough just two small steps Will put you on track You lift a leg To kick him back to bed Then hesitate and move away He is already dead He slips into your skin And flexes within And very soon in unity You both continue in Intuition, ignition Dead man circling Shiver, mirror Dead man circling Seat position, penetration Dead man circling Emergency stop, dead drop Dead man circling
3.
Abacus 03:36
The world does not add up In the drawer beneath the screen The papers slip to dream They jar and fall not far Remaining to be seen Everybody falls You crawl One distended drawl Not there at all The world does not add up Psychoactive Not reductive Flowerbeds, fallen heads A future market dead I pick my way around The shallow bay I cannot hear The several things you say The world does not add up
4.
I was walking in the morning But the heart fell foul I was rolling in the evening But the heart fell foul I was talking, I was roaring And the heart fell foul I was seeing, not believing When the heart fell foul I had emotions in my employ But the heart fell foul I had something I could enjoy But the heart fell foul I tied up ends that were never loose But the heart fell foul I enjoyed the calculation Spoke to Carlos Castaneda But the heart fell foul I sank my teeth in further But the heart fell foul Days wandered away And the heart fell foul You ran to the edge of the continent But the heart fell foul Was I pulling at a shoelace As the heart fell foul? Did I see beneath your wet face As the heart fell foul? I called for cards and missing shards As the heart fell foul You preferred to feed the senses
5.
Aria/Acqua 04:47
Hello, meek mortal I've come to unblock your portal Meat from my finger Rising from the mire Try to pick a way through All those things that you used to do Try to greet an unwholesome night As though it were some form of respite Say what’s plain sailing And waive what’s remaining I don’t know anyone on the telephone Anymore Thirsty and moreish A soft, systemic breeze Did it cut you deep Or did it leave you free? I'm changing I was always there Close your head To the living and the dead Wash your exoskeleton And watch my exultation Something to see your clothes through Or something that you used to do Remain apart In your cloistered heart Pull back the sheet I'm changing I was always there I was always changing I was always there
6.
Curses 05:58
Got to learn to let things age a bit Do the crossword on the bus Doubt the trouble Find a way to cross-parse Wretched brass sections And cursed misdirections What was their scrawl? Pay out with a growl Five cups of sleety tea lie fallow Nervous of connections Odour of hair Surpassed disgust Strain hard to focus the eyes Your search engine failed Your book was too small Smells like a fisherman’s spare net The afternoon sun The wastrel Follow buses Buses and cars Lift that dowdy angle That lavender disgrace That holy exit That next other thing
7.
The Pit 04:13
Your days of abundance are numbered The price of forfeit of slumber You’ve ignored this for too long You’ve ignored all those calls up to arms And as you creep From folds of debilitating sleep You will land on your hand You will cry again, my friend Your days of abundance are numbered Into the pit you have blundered And you saw the things that we once were All gathered up at your behind And then you find in time That this could be a place In which you could act in fact That you might die again, my friend Your days of abundance are numbered You’re no longer encumbered Insects crawl around outside Then fly into the sun The objects abide and then in time You will realise that this is the end And that you’re dead in the head And you can’t die again, my friend
8.
Odour 04:22
You were always so unkind Deliberately blind Locked into your pain Into spiteful rage With no conscience there to find You’re shut inside your room Remote presence, remote fools I have done what they do I cannot look at you But you won’t last forever You won’t last I’m climbing down the stairs I feel sunshine in my hair I was never strong But my day is long And I’ve something to declare You won’t last forever You won’t last I’ll burn your house down With all of your neighbours and their odours inside I’ll cut your mast down With your energy within You won’t last forever You won’t last
9.
Surface 04:51
You’re a ball Rolling along And as you go You do not know Whether you accumulate Or deteriorate Whether you're engrained Or sustained Whether the pits and lines Are scars Or whether they are Your true surface

credits

released January 12, 2018

Lloyd James: voice (1-9), acoustic guitar (1-5, 7-9), synth (2), bass (6), electric guitar (6), programming (6). Ben McLees: bass (2, 3, 5, 7-9), electric guitar (1-9), acoustic guitar (1, 6), voice (2-5, 7-9), violin (1, 6, 9), synth (1-9), percussion (2, 3, 6, 8, 9), programming (2, 3, 5-9), EBow guitar (7), kazoo (6), hand claps (8), vacuum cleaner (6), other sounds (6). Hunter Barr: string sounds (5). Peter Yates: EBow guitar (2). Alla Sol: voice (4, 8).

Recorded by Lloyd James at Wooden Lung and Ben McLees at Disconnected in 2014 and 2016. EBow guitar in Dead Man Circling recorded by Peter Yates in 2014. Field recordings made by Lloyd James in Leipzig, Athens and London. Produced and mixed by Ben McLees at Disconnected in 2014, 2015 and 2016. Mastered by Hunter Barr at Retina 2 in 2016. Cover painting by Jama Adilov. Painting photographed by Alla Sol. Design and layout by Ro'n. Graphical assistance by Esmerelda Munoz-Torrero. All material © 2017.

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